1 more day

one More day untill i go to QLD
which means i go 2morro :)
i board the plane at like 6.30 am
u biatches all betta msg me
not that many of u read this
B1 good luck 4 da wedding 2morroz
erm well im being kicked off again
i mite upd8 again im not sure
skewl in 10 days :|
top dolla mate thats us! :D
n e ways i will ave lots of photos
i hope and mayb sum pressies dno
depends how stindgy i am . . .
i can prob scab sum out of dad
and maria
n e ways
bye xox
ps msg me biatches

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie , Oi , oi ,oi

Happy Australia Day

im stoked 2day i didnt celebrate or anything
but i went 2 da beach and had sum fun
QLD in 2days :)
other than that nufin else 2 say realli
Happy birthday 2 jess for yesterday
and thats about it
xox

Remain Strong

i know i have to be brave
it wasnt me that took u to the grave
i just get the feeeling its all my fault
but then i wasnt the one who made u bolt
u left for a new place
where u could save some face
u kept ur faith
while im stuck in the cave
u can just be so stubborn
when pushing turns to shoving
but whats hurts most is my broken heart
the one that you tore apart
Why did you leave you didnt have to
i hate that u went to the war but i will always love you

Nightmare

i closed my eyes and saw you
i opened my eyes and you were gone
i closed my eyes but you werent there
i dream
im running
being chased
by my conscience
i fall
Mud on my face
i am broken
i am crying
parts of me are dieing
Why'd u have to go

Pointless tv

Well the title above says it all i spouse!
What is the worlds broadcasting coming to.
Well as you know it is the holidays
So most of the day their is either sport or kiddie shows on tv
which kinda sucks for people at my age
Unless you like watching Dr phil , the criket or tennis
Dont even get me started on the chinese news chanel broadcasts
i mean seriously what concerns me is how a child is meant to benifit from
pointless kid shows. i think the ages they are set for they are meant to learn how the world
works and to educate them without them realiseing is the way. Like when i was a child (back in the day :P) Playschool and madeline and Bananas in pyjamas and as much as i hate to say it sesame street. But these days there is Poko , teletubbies , Yoko jakamoto toto and other. Just grr even wild thornberries educates. Now i know this is lame complaining about tv which is really sad but its holidays and today we had thunderstorms and then weather from 30degrees and wind and ligntning and thunder , rain , just a mixture or weather. And u r bored out of ur brains sitting around so u turn on the tv and its Dr phil and you change he chanel to hear news in chinese and then u change it again to see the tennis then u change to the last chanel and it is the most irratating show ever like Poko which is just a pile of SH!T so then u go 2 use the computer but ur brother wont let u use it so u go to watch a movie or dvd or sumthing and you find ur brother has taken them all coz he claims to own them all so then u try 2 go 2 the garage to get a movie that he doesnt own but the only parent is at work and ur brother has the only other key so u just sit there . welcome to my day today. n e ways im off xox

*sigh*

Well i havent been doing much.
I stayed at emmas the other nite and that was fun.
yerrr its just so weird with essie being at her mums there is muthin 2 do.
Im going 2 QLD soon! on da 28th. All my school books are ready kinda
But im so stoked bout QLD im going surfing as much as i can. The only
negative is my stepbro is gonna b going ova which kinda sux. i think i will hav
2 baby sit him btw he is only a yr younger than me but just so immature
ask emma lol. We get our new comp sum time this week. Apparently im
a bit depressive lately according to my mum and bro. Any way nuthing else 2 write
Luv Jan Jan xox

Photo

I have a picture of me and you
The day we took it seems so far away
The stories that a photo can tell
The deception and lies it can hide
I have a picture of me and you
But where i put it, its split in two!!

untittled

You always had to be right
and you always thought you were
Even though you usually were
it bugged me....
if things didnt go your way
The way you had planned
i would get the blame
Well guess what..........
You were wrong about us!!!!

Wake Up

You think i want to be here?
When i dont deserve to be breathing

You think i want to be like this?
Crying all the time

You think i want to make jokes?
No one would notice or know me otherwise

You think i want this attention?
You think i want this life?
You think i want to be writing this?
Maybe you should wake up

Torture of words

Torture has left me here lying on the floor
The cold , dark , damp floor
And that last look in her eyes said it all
That last bombshell of words
The thoughts in my head that wont go away
trying to analyse what happened
so i can come to a conclusion that i can live with
i am constrained
like being in a straight jacket
a simple torture of never being free
i lie here on the cold floor
completely calm, awaiting my destiny
Alone , unable to move
covered by darkness
Staring into obliveration

Today

Well my bestie has gone away. So i ave been chilling with my most trustworthy mate. i read in a magazine that you should hav spcial kinds of friends like a "listener" , "fashion friend" , "bestie" , "guy friend" there were others but i cant memba lol but i think that is very true. not necessarily a fashion and woteva but yer i hav friends who i kno i can do certain jokes to or tell them certain things. Like there r friends a am feral with *cough* pc , laura *cough* ok and other lol . and then their are other friends who im more me around or more serious and more immature or more joke cracking. my bro got us both banned off da comp 4 a day. God he annoys me. My hair is blonde lol from my foils and i get braces on monday :| 2day i hung wit alice and essie and that woz gr8. Thats all 2 report so i will leave u with a poem... again bye xox

A Shiver

A shiver that someone is there
A shudder from someone breathing down ur neck
A sharp quick tun to realise that no one is there
A gasp for air as u black out
A sense of amnesia when u wake up
A shiver that someone is there
A sense is dae javu
A glace in the window To see the reflection
You are filled with joy when u learn who it was

Meaning - do you ever get the feeling that someone is there but when you turn around no one is there. well on this occasion it was happening for the second time instead of turning around she looked in a reflection and saw who it was. It was someone she used to know

Everything im not

Im not super girl
i cant save u

Im not a phsyciatrist
i cant fix ur problems

Im not jenny craig
i cant make u thin

im not a clown
i cant make u laugh

im not a doctor
i cant make u feel better

im not ur conscience
i cant give you advice

im not a body guard
i cant protect u

im not ba mind reader
i dont know how your feeling

im not a fortune teller
i cant predict the future

im not god
i dont kno everything

This proves im not magic
But i am your friend

Labels

Label me
Go ahead
Rebel, smart, stupid, FAT, Tall annoying
, brat, spoilt, theif, Clown , gossip , girly , liar
or even all of the above.
Labels dont make the people
the personalities do
Here is my own label which fits everyone
"unique"

BTW i hate labels grr the only labels i like are on clothing

What i used to be

I used to be someone else
someone innocent - oblivious to it all
Someone happy - and helpful
Someone who cared - about your feelings
And thought - before speaking
WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT GIRL???

i am glass

I see it now
things were never right
I needed to wake up
Thoughts of "us" have gone away
The girl that i was tore us apart
Torn into small pieces
Like broken glass
I think we did things too fast
You broke my trust
You broke my heart
You broke me
and i dont want to fall to pieces
i used to be strong
But now i am broken
like glass
Cutting everyone
waiting to be swept up and throw away

party

Well last nite woz my bro's 21st
it woz great em n me had alot of fun
i also had sum colour in my hair but i cant say wot it looks like untill afta tues
i dont wanna spoil it 4 my mates
Johnny (mozza) woz da highlight lol
he woz just a bit drunk
ok he was wasted lol
and so woz nakiya
and pete
and everyone
xcept they wouldnt giv faz a drink and he didnt hav id
it woz a gr8 nite i attempted 2 teach emma 2 dance
that surfer woz cracking onto nakiya
sum1 stole dj davo's hat
and johnny got kicked out
then in the morning mum woz crying coz she thought my bro
woz drink driving and i thought grant woz dead that woz scary
but its all good now
i will leave u with another poem
byes xox

Im lying here
thoughts running out of my head
into a pile of slurr
how could you think i would do that
You walked away when i needed you
and no matter how hard i try
your never satisfied
well it's over

I'm still lying here
thoughts running out of my head
All the vodka is now gone
But this is my fault
My burden
My life

do i even have a father?

He calls himself my father
he abandoned me
my brothers
and my mother
He left us with nothing
no house
no money
no love
but most of all
No father
My friends fathers have been more of a father to me
He calls himself my father
But i dont have a father

we are so different now

Hey erm nuthin has really happened i went through all my photos and saw some that upset me
then i hav only had like 4hrs sleep and i just ened up msging everyone again.lol Happy Birthday Nikki the poem below is 4 u. um we hav been friends for 10yrs so she's neva gettin rid of me. Hear that nikki wen ur a famous author i will be lining up 2 get my copy of ur book signed lol. u will hav 2 come visit me at rehab coz u kno i mite start eating lol. But thanx 4 being such a great mate. u hav had 2 put up with alot of stuff from me. (well basically me complaining lol) Yer thats all nuthin else 2 report byes xox


Times have flown away
friendships come and gone
we are so different now
to what we used to be
But we still remain friends
we share the same friends
the same school
the same class
we share the same suburb
the same bus
the same frienship

even though we have changed
our friendship hasnt

Nikki n Jan Jan friends for life!


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www.butterflykissesrock.blogspot.com

Hello

Heya pplz well my bestie who is like da only 1 who reads this lol
Just got bak from da shack in orford. The surf was crap so woz da weather but it woz good. we put cooking yest in brads hair (brad is my stepbro) and i scared the shit out of them both. sum1 got lucky :P but their name will remain undisclosed. And we had a dance parti lol. doorhandles scare me and so do curtains the possums were feral. and yer on da 1st nitre we heard ppl havin sex my parents friends em n i were like WHAT?!theen in the morning they went and washed the sheets. Then @ da beach wen brad took off his shit we were like wtf. and he woz tryin 2 get sorell prosties. and the 3 LEGGED DOG that was freaky shit man. wen da seagull came ova and pecked brad on da head. Wen i woz surfin and all theese guys werd like hey shes betta than me wen i only startin a few months ago. When we stuffed pillows in brads bed and made it look like there is a person in there and he thought it woz em and jumped on it. wen brad leaped in the air and knocked em ova (that should b in an action movie) it 3woz soo fricken funni. All the glow sticks. Scottie doesnt know hehe. When i gave em a makeova. Wen sexual guarded the door handle. when i recited the whole shrek movies 2 emma. When i did the hitler walk. wen we make the seaweed picture. wen i claimed brads hat all of these are the highlights of my end of 2005 and begining of 2006. n e ways thanx 4 makin da weekend awesum em. I hope u had as much fun as me byes xox